Reconnect with the Self

Updated: Jun 20, 2018

Some changes are about to happen. We are part of the many ones who lost the connection. That’s why we flew away. For one of us the activator was work. For the other one, it was studies. But for both of us, it was the body who started to speak is own language : the language of the symptoms.

We choose Australia it could have been everywhere. The journey is not only about discovering a country with endless nature and stunning hidden secret places, a continent with magnificent fauna and flora, a country with such a particular history. It is most of all about rediscovering our Selves in an environment who enable us to be completely ourselves, taking us out of our comfort zone and triggering us at the deepest level of our beliefs.

But we promise you one thing, guys, this is not the beginning of a sad story it’s the start of a journey which leads to a reconnection with the Self. The true Self.

How did the disconnection started?

Everything definitely began with the idea that we could and had to control all the aspects of our lives and that meant also controlling all the sensations and feelings appearing in our body. It’s something that happen so often and to everyone but sneaks in slowly into our habits that we don’t even realise we start to lose the connection.

One day of beginning 2013, I was working on a project for my studies, I started to get very strong headaches. It followed my period. I just thought headaches from my PMS, normal. Days after days, headaches were more and more present and I was just considering it as an assault from my body. “Why the hell is he inflicting me this?” The pain was so intense, I couldn’t focus anymore but I had to work so, I took the painkillers. Relief after the first pill, the second was already useless. I started to live with this pain, everyday, as it was my burden. Thinking that it was a lack of luck, my mean body chose to inflict me all this suffering. Without even asking myself if I was maybe understanding something wrong? After the headaches, backaches appeared as well. I couldn't barely sleep because of the pain but I continued to be deaf to all the signs. My situation went worse and worse. I spent a lot of time going from doctors to doctors, trying to find out what was happening to me. Nothing special came up, the pain just continued and therefore the search as well.

Of course my generalist doctor started to point out the psychological aspect of the symptoms. I went to the psychotherapist but nothing went better. I, even, sank more deeply into the pain. It’s been a long, long time before I started listening to the symptoms which, I understood later on, were the way my body found to keep me update of what was going on inside of myself. But at that time, I was in such a profound misery that instead I started to face some really negative thoughts. The search was on and I was thinking how my body could make me suffer like this?

One day, blood tests came back pointing out some autoimmune markers in my blood. I went to a Rheumatologist and considering the symptoms and the results of the blood test, they ended up with a diagnosis: I was suffering from Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS).

So far, I still don’t understand how they could have told me this regarding to the symptoms and the autoimmune markers. This wasn’t enough at all to make such a diagnosis.

But at that time, it looked out like finally we found what I was suffering from and there was going to be a way to release me from the pain.

Time passing, the first effects of the pills were gone and I was still there with my pain. I was feeling so lonely. No one to understand, no one to live my nightmare and that idea just freaked me out. I was really far from understanding what was happening inside of me. I never cried so muc